Is Spiritual Companioning for You?

A DESIRE TO BE CLOSER TO THE DIVINE

Why do people begin the process of spiritual companioning? Many people who come to me say they want to be closer to God. Others speak in terms of a mysterious “something more” which they desire for their lives. Many believe that the divine is actually present to them—but feel they are failing to recognize this reality. They want a companion to help them notice and respond to divine presence: “Help me see what I am overlooking.” Directees want to find God in their sorrow as well as joy, in daily routines as well as peak moments.

Some people who seek a spiritual companion feel that they are being held back from a deeper union with the Divine. They may see the problem as a temptation or evil that oppresses them, or an ego-driven self from which they desire to be freed. Others are having a hard time accepting that God loves them just as they are. They want to grow in the ability to accept this love. I base my service on a conviction that God’s love for all of creation is boundless and that people can find the holy in the midst of all things.

HELP IN WALKING THE PATH

Another theme that comes up regularly is the seeker’s desire to live an authentic spiritual life, following the way to which they are called. They express this in various ways: “I want to live in obedience to God’s will for my life,” or “I want to be my truest Self”, or “I want to walk the path that I am intended to walk.”

To do this, one must be able to identify which life-choices best align with the their intended path. It is a matter of discernment: the ability to weigh different options and chose the best ones. This is what seekers are describing when they say, “I want to find my purpose at this time of my life—where to put my energies,” or “I need to decide how to serve God and how to serve community.” Helping the directee with the process of discernment is one key aspect of spiritual companioning.

RENEWED SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

Some of those who come to me say, “I feel that I am at a stand-still in my spiritual journey,” or, “My prayer life seems to have dried up.” In the past, these seekers may have enjoyed a rich prayer life or found meditation and other spiritual practices fruitful. Now these activities no longer seem to nourish them. They want to reestablish devotions and practices or find new ones that may better suit their present condition. It is not uncommon for them to ask for suggestions on prayer and help them to be accountable for their goals.

Of course, one does not give up a spiritual practice lightly—there are benefits and discoveries that come to those who persist in prayer during the dry times. However, there are also times when a change is helpful. I am well acquainted with discursive prayer, journaling, lectio divina, centering prayer, and imaginative prayer. I may suggest a method and help a directee become familiar with it. Clients who feel spiritually stuck often find such a practice liberating. I am also happy to refer a seeker to teachers from various spiritual traditions such as Buddhism or Yoga when that would be helpful.

A SPECIAL KIND OF COMPANION

What kind of person do seekers want and need to help them with such matters? They want a person who is trustworthy, supportive, and nonjudgmental. They want someone trained in spiritual direction, a careful listener, who can hold the seeker’s story in sacred space and serve as a sounding board for their hopes and plans. Some people are looking for a spiritual companion who can challenge them on occasion, and I can do so if desired. Those from the less common or nontraditional spiritual approaches want a director who will honor their particular spirituality. I will always do so.

Sometimes the one coming to me expresses the desire for a spiritual guide who can tell them what to believe or how to practice their spirituality. I tell them that it is best if I do not tell them what to think or do. Instead, I will help them recognize and engage with their sacred reality to find the answers they seek. My experience confirms that this is the best source from which guidance will come.

SUMMARY

In summary, those who seek a spiritual companion often express the desire for four things. They want to deepen their connection with the divine, live according to a divine plan, and deepen spiritual practices. They also seek a special kind of companion to help them do so, someone who listens deeply, does not judge them, and helps them find sacred wisdom for the choices they face. Some come with a specific goal and, after several sessions, when the goal is met, they suspend the process. Others receive ongoing spiritual direction each month, fruitfully reflecting on new experiences, continuously growing.

If you are looking for any of the benefits mentioned in this blog, I invite you to contact me so that we can discuss how spiritual direction can enrich your life!